Saturday, August 30, 2008
I woke up a few times Tuesday (August 26) night to contractions and thought they felt a little stronger than the previous ones I had had, but just went back to sleep each time. Wednesday (August 27) morning I woke up at 7:00 and I told Devin to go to work and I'd let him know if they continued. Well, at about 10:00 I was still having them and they had been consistently 5 minutes apart. (That's 3 hours of consistent contractions and my doc said if I had 6 in an hour to head to the hospital, but I wasn't ready to go. I didn't want to labor at the hospital and I thought I'd have lots more hours to go, so I did some ironing, cleaning, put clothes away, you know, the usual Wednesday morning stuff...) They seemed to be getting a little stronger, but not by much. I texted Devin the times of my contractions and thought he'd call if he thought it was serious, but I didn't hear from him, so I figured I was probably just excited for no reason and it wasn't really a big deal. When he called on his lunchtime, he said he didn't get the texts because his phone was on silent. He really did think it was serious and we decided I would go to my parents' house because it was only 20 minutes from the hospital instead of 40 from our house. He said he'd tell his teacher and come meet me.
So, at about noon, I got our hospital bags, filled the car up with gas, and drove to my parents'. I was afraid my contractions would slow down if I sat in the car and they did. They went to 15 minutes apart. I was a little discouraged after thinking this was it and now they were slowing down! I was tired, but I knew I couldn't rest if I wanted them to keep coming. When Devin got to my parents' we went for a walk. They moved to about 2 minutes apart and were strong enough that I had to stop walking during them.
After the walk, I decided I wanted to get in a cool bath because the walk had made me pretty warm. It was a really humid day. When I got out of the tub it was about 2:00 and the contractions felt pretty serious. I really had to focus on relaxing during them so they could do their job. I decided it was time to go to the hospital.
My mood was changing and I was getting grouchy...Devin needed some socks to wear and I asked my dad if he could borrow some from him. He was watching Planet Earth with Jaxon and responded with, "Yeah, go check in my drawer." I just gave him a look and said, "Are you serious?" In my mind I was thinking, "Do you see what's going on right now? I'm gonna have a baby soon and you want me to go digging through your drawer to find some socks so you don't have to get up from your oh-so-interesting nature show. How about you get up and go find them!?" He got it and went to find some.
We walked out to the car, but went back in so my dad and Devin could give me a blessing. I was glad my mom suggested it because I had wanted one, but forgot about it as my mood got more serious. It was a sweet moment and it brought me peace, but I did tell them to hurry because I knew we needed to get to the hospital asap!
We left at 2:30. He and I drove in our car and my mom followed in her's. In the car, the contractions got quite serious. I know the stages of labor and one of the very end stages is wanting to give up and give in. I had reached this point with Jaxon and asked for an epidural. This time, it wasn't even on my mind. I did want to give up, but in a different way. It wasn't about "the pain." I didn't see it as pain. It was about just wanting to see my new baby. I remember saying, "I just want it to be over. I want to see Henry." I didn't even consider drugs for relief this time. The only thing I could think of for relief was to get that baby outta there! My mind really had set my body to do it on my own, just like I wanted! (I definitely underestimated myself because I didn't think my mind was that strong, but it IS!) Devin told me that we would see him soon and encouraged me to keep relaxing.
I recognized the signs of the stage I was in, but didn't trust my body and the feeling I had been taught would come naturally because Jaxon's labor was so much longer I thought there was no way I was really at this point already. I kept telling Devin to go faster because from the passenger seat it looked like he was going under the speed limit! Definitely a way to anger a woman in labor: make her think you are going under the speed limit while on your way to the hospital!
We got there at 2:50. Devin asked if I wanted him to drop me off while he parked the car and I got mad and told him he couldn't leave me. Then I thought, "Wait, I can't walk from the car!" so I told him to park and go get a wheel chair. He ran and got one. (I knew he ran because I noticed he was out of breath when he got back and I was thankful he hurried.) Devin grabbed the bags and my mom wheeled me up to the 2nd floor. They took us right to Room 7 and this big guy nurse got out a pee cup for me to pee it--like that was happening! I was moaning and saying things like, "I need to push!" and "He's coming! Now!" There was no time to pee!
So, I climbed up on the bed--no time for an IV, hospital gown change, paperwork, or anything--just like I wanted. I was on all fours, which was a birthing position I saw in a book and was totally turned off to at the time, but in the moment of giving birth, it was the exact position my body was comfortable with; it was where I wanted to be.
There were 2 nurses who said they needed to check me to see if I was really ready to push. I told them I was and they didn't need to check me. They insisted and it took one of them about .0001 seconds to "check" and see that I definitely was ready to push. She responded with, "Yeah, she's complete and plus 3" meaning I was fully dilated (at a 10) and the baby's head was 3 inches out of the pelvis bone, well on its way out! They told me I had to wait because the doctor wasn't here. Yeah right! I wasn't waiting for anyone! In reality, I didn't really need to be pushing at this point. The contractions were doing the work--no pushing needed from me! I did my best to kind of hide the fact that I was going with the contractions rather than fighting them like they wanted, but like I said, I couldn't stop contractions!
One nurse, Shari, told me to look at her and I told her I didn't want to. I wanted her to leave me alone. I was doing what my body wanted to do. It was amazing. I wasn't scared or thinking about pain or anyone around me. I was determined and going to have this baby right now! It was the most natural feeling (kinda gross to compare, but like a bowel movement, just relax and trust your body and it will do its think, no help needed).
The nurses finally realized that we weren't going to be able to wait for the doctor, so they prepared to "catch." With one contraction they said they could see that the bag of waters was still intact and under it was the baby's head. With the next contraction I pushed out the head and the water broke. I felt this big pop and was a little worried it was me that had popped! But, luckily it wasn't me; it was the bag of water!
Now the nurses could see that the cord was around Henry's neck. Shari told me I needed to stop pushing so they could fix it. Immediately upon hearing that, I was able to come out of this "zone" I was in of letting my body do what it wanted to and focus and control my body. The thought of possibly harming my baby was powerful enough to bring me back and control the pushing. That was a pretty cool moment.
They fixed the cord and with the next contraction, at 3:19 pm, the rest of his body came out (Devin said "he just shot out") and it was amazing! I didn't feel any pain. I was overwhelmed with happiness, surprise, relief, excitement, and a sense of accomplishment.
The placenta came with the next contraction and it was named "healthy" by the nurses. The doc showed up after that (I was a little bummed my doc wasn't on call, he's great, but this doc was good too). She saw he baby was out and she wasn't really needed. I was crying and she asked if I was sad. I told her, "Nope, I just can't believe I did that!" And said it like 10 more times..."I can't believe I did that! I can't believe I did that!"
It was the most awesome experience. Devin was in tears too. He said I was amazing and he was so proud of me:) That's just the word I would use to explain it, "amazing." It really was. It's nothing to be afraid of, but something that I wish every woman could experience. And I wish more women had the desire to experience it and would try it. It was such a wonderful moment to be able to bring our baby into the world rather than not being able to feel anything like when I was medicated last time. Plus, the recovery has been so much better! My face looked much better this time and I felt great right after he was born and the swelling is SO much less! I definitely believe any woman can do it--if she WANTS to and she prepares and educates herself for it (and there are no medical complications). The mind is strong and plays a big role in allowing the body to accomplish the task. Labor is that--labor, but definitely do-able.
I love my little baby Henry and I couldn't be happier with how everything went. It was an experience I'll always remember. It's so fun to be a parent and have sweet little kids in our home. We are so blessed!
Cheers to all moms!
Henry Devin Miller
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
7 pounds, 11 ounces
New addition to our family!
Proud big brother:)
Our family of fourGrandpa & Granny Judd and Us
Oma & Jaxon & Henry
Jaxon being goofy with Granny & Henry!
Daddy must be tired from a rough night!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Honestly, I did not teach him that, but I'm glad he believes it!
Foof is his word for toot, fart, gas, etc.
Daddy said, "We're thankful for Mommy."
Jaxon said, Mumble, mumble, "Mommy."
Daddy said, "We're thankful for Daddy."
Jaxon said, Mumble, mumble, "Daddy."
And so on...our house, church, and other words Jaxon can say. It was so sweet and we are so blessed to have this precious child in our home. I am excited for Jaxon to be an older brother and great example to Henry! It was definitely a special moment!
My dad and Joshua outside Manzanita Hall (his dorms).
Here's Joshua at his desk in his dorm room. Cozy!
My mom and Joshua.
Joshua, we'll miss seeing you as often as we do now, but you'll have fun in college. We love you!
First, we did a home-version of a "couples' cooking class" with our friends, Josh and Joy (Josh's birthday is August 20, so Joy & I planned a combined activity for the boys). The whole thing was a surprise until we got together and the boys got to open their gifts: authentic white chef coats and not-quite-so-authentic (paper) chef hats. They were so excited as they opened them and we told them what we were doing. They got to pick the whole menu of drinks, appetizers, main course, and dessert. They picked root beer, twice baked potatoes, rib eye steaks with mushrooms and salad, and ice cream. We went to the store to get the ingredients we needed and came back and began preparing...
I love this man! He really is so wonderful and I am so blessed he picked me to be with him throughout eternity!
Oh, while we were at the store Devin saw that there was "Birthday Cake" Blue Bell ice cream. (It's a rotating flavor, so they don't have it all the time and Blue Bell is his favorite store-bought ice cream.) He was so excited he did this cute little surprised cheer and smile! It was one of those moments where I was reminded of why I love him, when he does those cute, little-boy-excited things:) Anyway, here he is with his ice cream...
Second, Devin's family took us out to eat at LoLo's Chicken & Waffles in Phoenix. I don't know where Devin heard about it, but it's a Southern thing and so he wanted to try it. I was definitely freaked out at the thought of eating fried chicken and waffles on the same plate for the same meal, but it was really yummy food!
This is Jaxon's friend Trey. Trey's mom is my friend Heather, whom I met when we were like four years old. We were in the same kindergarten class, ward, and neighborhood. Heather and I had the same due date for our second boys, but she had her baby, Connor, on Sunday. Hopefully, Henry will follow quickly behind...
Trey is about six months older than Jaxon. We went over to Trey's house and Jaxon fell in love with his dancing, singing Spiderman. Luckily, Trey also has a dancing, singing Elmo chicken to play with since Jaxon would cry if he had to give up Spiderman. They were so cute playing together!
Yesterday at church a few people asked me how many weeks I had left. I said, "No more weeks. We're talking days, hours actually!" Hopefully that's true and we don't go into the 'weeks' category!
I told Devin that I'm so excited for baby Henry to be born, but I'm worried how Jaxon will deal with the adjustment. I just love him so much and I don't want his little feelings to be hurt or sad if mommy can't help him the second he wants help because I'm dealing with the baby. Jaxon got to hold a brand new baby yesterday and he did love it, so hopefully that's a good sign. He knew it wasn't mommy's baby though. I know he'll learn to adjust, I just hope it's fast!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someones garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
Amen to that!
Monday, August 18, 2008
--I was 2 years old.
--Pretty much bald.
--Lived in Mesa, Arizona.
10 Years Ago...
--I was 12 and so excited to enter Young Women's.
--I was awkwardly smaller than my friends and super subconscious about it.
--I was living in Lehi, Arizona.
5 Years Ago...
--I was waiting for Devin to come home from his mission (though still dating).
--I had just moved to Utah from Arizona.
--I was loving my Junior year of high school in Kanab playing volleyball and running track.
3 Years Ago...
--I was newly married and living in a little two bedroom apartment.
--Devin and I were working and attending Dixie State College in St. George, Utah.
1 Year Ago...
--I was living here, in Queen Creek, with our new baby Jaxon and couldn't believe I was living my dream of being a stay at home mom.
--I was working on painting and decorating our new house.
--We are expecting our second baby.
--Devin will graduate and begin teaching!!!
--I did lots of cleaning and then relaxed!
--I went to the doctor (found out I'm a one and my cervix is "thick") and then went swimming.
--I am going visiting teaching and taking Joey to the vet.
I tag: Jami, Joy, Lacie Robinson.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
When I realized they were pretty regular and weren't stopping I kinda started freaking out! I realized I wasn't even ready! My bag wasn't packed and mentally I wasn't ready either. Since Jaxon was 7 days late, I just have expected this baby to come late too. Remember, the 'not wanting to get my hopes up' thing in case the baby is late? Well, I need to still be ready if he's early!
Anyway, I have 9 days left until my due date, but now I'm ready if he decides to come any time now!
I am: a wife to the best husband in the world and mother to the cutest little boy.
I think: the world is a scary place, but there are lots of good people too.
I know: the church (of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) is true.
I want: to have baby Henry soon.
I have: 2 doggies, Joey, a German Wire-Hair Pointer who loves Jaxon, and Polly, a English Setter, Brittany Spaniel mix who runs away from Jaxon.
I wish: Devin was guaranteed a job when he is done with student teaching.
I hate: rude, inconsiderate people.
I miss: sleeping through the night and sleeping in. And life before bills!--Not the life I had before I got bills, but the feeling of not having bills!
I fear: dying young or Devin dying young or losing a child.
I feel: tired and achy.
I hear: Devin watching his movie.
I smell: nothing. Lots of smells bother me right now, so I haven't been burning any oils lately.
I crave: Otter Pops and ice cream.
I search: for a comfortable sleeping position.
I wonder: what life will be like with 2 kids.
I regret: not hugging more. I think hugging is so great. I want to be a huggy person, but it's just not something I do without making a conscious effort.
I love: my life.
I care: about helping others.
I always: have my toe nails painted.
I am not: tall or shy-though people who don't know me think I am shy.
I believe: anyone can be what they want to be, whether it's skinny, smart, happy...it just takes effort.
I dance: nope, I don't dance because I don't look good while doing it!
I sing: along in the car and primary songs to Jaxon at night.
I don't always: rest when I should.
I fight: with sarcasm...totally snotty, I know!
I write: lists for everything! I'll forget stuff if I don't and I like checking stuff off.
AND (wrote) in my journal every night in high school, but now mostly on my blog instead.
I lose: hardly anything. I like the house clean, organized, and clutter free, so I rarely lose things.
I win: (won) the sweetest man's heart!
I never: say cuss words, though there have been a few close calls...
I listen: to Jaxon talk and laugh and it always makes me happy!
I can usually be found: at home or at the Y swimming.
I am scared: of the dark--if I'm alone.
I am happy about: everything I have been blessed with, which is so much more than I even realize!
Friday, August 15, 2008
So...you know the small little craft carts at like Michael's and, of course, JoAnn's? They're like mini carts. Well, that's where I had Jaxon (in the cart) to keep him from running all over the store. I, being nine months pregnant, didn't really feel like having to chase after him, or worse CARRY him, so I figured I'd just leave him in it and head to Utla.
I walked in Ulta and went over to the fragrances. I found one I really like: Happy To Be:) It's yummy! Anyway, I was trying to find a men's one I liked while also trying to keep Jaxon occupied and included by allowing him to smell everything I did.
We were in the store for about five minutes when one of the employees (I'd guess she was about 18) came up to me and said, "Ma'am, we can't allow carts in the store. Sorry."
It took everything I had not to make some smart mouth comment about how I'm NINE months pregnant with a toddler and it's much better and EASIER for EVERYONE involved to have him IN a cart so he wasn't running around the store breaking all the glass bottles on the shelves and getting into everything else he felt like while I tried to waddle after him to make him stop. Okay, Jaxon doesn't really act like that in stores, but he would want to touch and smell all the pretty colored perfume bottles and chances of him dropping one are pretty high. I would bet that any mother would agree that I would just be torturing myself taking him in there without some form of help. The best place for him was in the cart.
I couldn't believe that they were having a fit about this shopping cart! It really takes a lot to offend me. I'm one of those people who when I ask if these pants make my butt look big, I wanna know the truth! Even if the answer is yes! But...I was so offended! I just thought, "You have got to be kidding me! Do you really want to upset me? I'm nine months pregnant and I am shopping with my toddler! You're nuts and you've obviously never done it before or you'd totally understand!" And "Fine. I won't spend my money at your store! Even though I really wanted that bag!!!"
I can understand if it's a rule, but I think the employees need to have a little more common sense when dealing with customers. We weren't running into the isles and leaving skid marks on the floor! I was using it to watch my kid. What is wrong with a shopping cart anyway? Do the wheels hurt the floor or something? I wonder if strollers are allowed in the store because if they're not, how is anyone with a kid, or KIDS, supposed to shop there!? AND...we weren't even in there very long. It's not like we had been in there for an hour and were ruining the floor with the cart...or whatever they were afraid was going to happen!
Of course I couldn't say all that and make a big scene like I felt like doing inside. Instead, I said to her, "Okay." Then I said to Jaxon, "Let's go."
So, I really wanted that bag but I was so mad I didn't spend the $30 to get it!
Okay, got it out of my system! That's enough ranting for one night...
Moms, do you agree with me? Would that make your upset? Or is it just my pregnancy hormones going crazy?
Jaxon loves Grandpa! Here they were laughing for about 10 minutes because Jaxon "foofed" (passed gas) and he thought it was hillarious when Grandpa said "foof" over and over again.
Me and my Love
Me and my Baby
Jaxon decided he needed to sort the artificial sugar according to color: pink, yellow, and white...organizing before age 2...yeah, he's definitely my kid!
Here are the way cute pedicures I got with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law...I'm on the top, Terri has the other black flip-flops, Elisha has the green flip-flops, and Reina didn't have her's done, but came for the fun! (Click on the pic and you can see the designs better close up.)
It was wonderful! It's always nice to have someone massage your feet and paint your toenails! This place is in Tempe and they do some really fun and unique designs!
It was a fun day. Devin was so sweet and made me breakfast and really made me feel like it was my special day. If only he knew what was coming for his birthday... :)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
1. My parents / in-laws houses
2. Hate to say it, but WalMart
People who call/text/email me regularly
4. My mom
1. Ice Cream
2. Crepes, but they've gotta be good ones
1. Twilight Series
2. Harry Potter
3. And that's about it...
1. Running & lifting
4. Doing any craft
Places I'd Rather Be
1. On vacation anywhere
2. On a date with Devin
3. Somewhere I've never been
Movies I'd Watch Over and Over
1. Hot Chick
2. Napoleon Dynamite & Nacho with Devin though, he makes them funnier
3. Pretty much any chick flick
4. Home videos of Jaxon
Bands/Groups I love to listen to
1. Pretty much anything country
3. Maroon 5
4. Dashboard Confessional
People I'm Tagging
Friday, August 8, 2008
19 Days To Go! (Warning...this kinda turned into what sounds like a journal entry...I think I even got up on my soap box for a little while...)
Jaxon has always been on the larger size of the curve, so I'm interested to see how Henry will be. Last week, I had an ultrasound (at 36 weeks) and he was about 6 1/2 pounds...that's a good size considering the ultrasound tech said the baby could grow by a pound a week! That'd make a 10 1/2 pound baby! The doc said it could be more like 1/2 a pound a week so that made me feel a little better, which makes Jaxon's size (Jaxon was 8 pounds 5 ounces), but she said she didn't think Henry would be as big as Jaxon. She thought Henry would be high 7's to low 8's...so, we'll see...
Back to the diapers...that was the last thing I needed for Henry's hospital bag! He's all packed! It includes: a few blankets, onsies, socks, diapers, wipes, beannie...which, by the way, will he even need that? We are in Arizona! And it's summer! But they do say babies lose heat through their head...I don't know...Moms, what do you think? Did I forget anything?
I still need to get my bag ready and Jaxon's too (and stuff for Devin at the hospital too, huh?). My actual due date is August 27th, which is a Wednesday, but I don't anticipate actually having him that day. Jax was 7 days late, so I'm planning on being late again...might as well plan on being late. That way, it won't get my hopes up and if it's sooner, then great! I think too many moms expect the baby to come before the ESTIMATED due date (it's an estimation!) and then they get discouraged and impatient when the baby doesn't come the day they planned. And that leads to inductions and c-sections, which, some women are okay with, but I would never want for myself unless it was medically necessary. I believe the baby will come when it's ready...when Heavenly Father is ready to let him come to this earth. He's got a whole life ahead of him. Why would he want to come any sooner than he has to?
And...I'm planning on having a natural birth (no epidural)...I know, some people think it's crazy, but I wanna do it. Why? Well, partly because so many women believe they can't and I believe they can, and I can. I believe it takes EDUCATION and PREPARATION, but it can be done. I feel like it's my responsibility to educate myself to know what is going on with my body during such a huge, life-changing event so I can EXPERIENCE it and NOT BE SCARED of it. For such an experience, I'm surprised many mothers don't have the desire to learn about the process their body goes though. It really is amazing how Heavenly Father built female bodies able to accomplish such a grand thing--bringing his children into this world. I think every mother can chose what she feels is best for her and her baby. (So don't think I don't wanna be your friend if you're a fan of the epidural!) It's just for me, I don't want to go along with the doctors plan without being informed. The more I learn about it, the more I realize how awesome it is and I want to experience it. Plus, I know modern medicine and epidurals are a blessing, but it kinda makes me nervous to know there haven't been any long term studies (though there can be immediate problems) to prove there are no harmful effects and we never know what they'll discover... I tried it with Jaxon and made it through 8 hours of labor and 5 cm of dilation and gave in. I'm not gonna lie, it was nice once I had the epidural to not feel all the pressure, but this time I am better prepared and, plus, by posting it here that I'm gonna do it makes me have to be even more dedicated!