Full

of it.  I am full of it.

I had to go buy milk this afternoon.  I didn't have the kids with me so I was able to make it quick.  As I was walking out of the grocery store with a gallon of milk in one hand and my keys in the other, I let out a big sigh.  As soon as it came out of my mouth I had a thought, "Why did I do that?"  The rest of my thought process went something like this:  "I'm not even worn out or tired.  I'm actually in a pretty good mood.  Why didn't I smile at the cashier as I took my change and said thank you?  Why am I not walking out here with a smile on my face right now?"  It was as if I was playing the role of "sleep deprived, mother of two, pregnant lady" rather than just being myself, who at that time, was feeling great!

What's with myself acting one way and actually feeling another?  Do I just act tired because other people think I am since I have 2 little kids and a growing pregnant belly?  Last week when I had to buy milk (and take the kids with me) the first thing the cashier asked me if any of the groceries were WIC.  I told her they weren't, but thanked her for checking.  Then as I paid and finished the transaction, she said to me, "Go home and get some rest."  Was I really looking that bad?!  Some days I truly am frazzled, but not every day.  When I'm feeling good and energized, I should put out that vibe.  I should be making the world a more positive place, especially when I'm having a good day!

Since this super annoying, complainer post, I haven't had a downer day like that one.  I've been patient with the kids, more thankful, more motivated, and been more happy overall.  My prayers are helping, I'm sure.

Maybe this blog is too journal-y lately, but whatever, it's my blog.  Plus, I don't get out much lately, so my social interactions and conversations have been few and far between so I write my thoughts here.