Thursday, December 11, 2008

Baby Wise Confused Me

Okay, so I am confused...I read the book Baby Wise and I tried getting Henry on their suggested schedule of eat, play, sleep.  I know it's better for kids not to fall asleep eating so I don't let him do that, but he is always hungry before going to sleep.  I don't think I should let him cry when he's hungry just so he'll fall asleep so he can eat when he wakes up.  I really tried doing it for a few days but it made him take like a 30 minute nap and then he would wake up because he was HUNGRY.  I don't know what to do.  The book makes it sound like when the baby is on this schedule everyones lives are easier.  I'll tell ya, I don't know anyone's life who became easier while trying to do this.  It also makes it sound like if we don't have our babies on this schedule, they will grow to have sleeping disorders that will effect them the rest of their lives.  And, it says they put tons of babies on this schedule and they were all sleeping through the night by like 12 weeks.  I've always heard (and believed) that all babies are different with different needs, but this book makes it sound like this schedule is for ALL babies.

I have heard a lot of people doing this method, but I just can't see it working for Henry.  If any one has experience of their own with this, please share it. 

At his age of 3 months, the books says he should eat 4 to 5 times a day and none of those feedings should be at night and his naps should be 1 1/2 to 2 hours long.   

So, lets see here...If he ate 5 times a day, from 7 am to 10 pm, that's 15 hours that's every 3 hours (day time feedings only).  There is supposed to be about a 2 hour nap then he's only awake for about an hour at a time and he takes 5 naps a day...Not Henry.  It's different every time.  It's partly my fault because I don't think he eats a full feeding every time.  Sometimes I have to stop him before he is really done because I have another kid to deal with.  So, he only gets a snack.  That's reality!  And, he's not ready to go to sleep after being awake for an hour.  He eats more and sleeps less than the book says a baby his age should.

I dumped the book for a few days and they have been way happier days!  I feed him when he's hungry and it is somewhat of a schedule.  But, I guess he eats more often than the book says and he naps less.  His pattern is eat, play, eat, nap, with 3 naps a day--morning, early afternoon, and a short one in the late afternoon to get him through the evening.  Then, 2 or 3 feedings at night. It's about 6 to 8 times a day and 2 or 3 at night.  I asked a few other moms with babies Henry's age and a little older and they say their babies are still eating like 2 hours apart and some 1 1/2. 

I think Henry's problem is he doesn't get a full meal when he wakes up so he can't make it until the next time he wakes up.  But now, he is used to these short(er) meals, only like 10 minutes, when it should be more like 20 or 30, though the book does say a baby can drain a breast in 7 minutes, so maybe he just eats fast, but I have been trying to make him eat longer and he is uninterested and gets mad about it.

Anyway, people probably don't even care about this and probably won't even finish reading it...but I'm wondering:  Is this scheduling plan really possible, or am I just a totally unorganized mother who can't successfully deal with 2 kids to put her little baby on a schedule causing everyone's life suffers because of it?!


Carrie Carp said...

Hey girl, the one thing I've learned from my first try at the newborn/1st year stuff is this: NO book knows MY son! I read a ton of baby books and continually researched this and that as problems came up. No book was perfect for Jack and very little actually worked for some of the problems we had. The thing I think I figured out is that my instincts with the baby are going to be a lot more accurate than some mother of five or male doctor who never had one problem with breastfeeding! Some books say to nurse the baby to sleep and some (like Babywise, which I read much of, but not all) say that that's a terrible idea. Everyone is crazy extreme in their own opinion! Your situation is going to be totally different, just go with your instincts, yo! I liked some of the info in Babywise (that I read), but it wasn't perfect for me. In fact, mine and Jack's crazy problems were in NO books! Don't worry, your a good mom! If others' advice isn't helping, just ignore all of it and trust yourself!!!

Janet said...

First of all, relax. Henry's fine. And you're fine. Baby Wise is stupid. There, I've said it. I don't think they know ANYTHING about a successful breastfeeding relationship. I've even heard of babies suffering from "failure to thrive" because of this method. Please, please, please don't use it. Call me and we'll chat more about breastfeeding and schedules. I've got way better resources than Baby Wise. I feel sad for babies whose moms feel they need to do this {I think it's pretty selfish actually - even though their intentions may be good}.

DeWitts said...

They're only little like this for such a short time. My theory is, just do what makes you both happy. If it drives you nuts not to have a schedule, then get one. If it drives you nuts to try and schedule everything, then don't. (I'm a fan of the latter.) There's no magical equation. Just be happy.


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