I read this on a friend's blog and was cracking up in agreement so I wanted to post it too. Let me know if you agree with any of these statements:
PAST: how can i get this guy to kiss me tonight?
PRESENT: how can i get out of sex tonight?
PAST: i hate when guys fart. nasty.
PRESENT: i love when my baby toots! maybe then he'll sleep better...
PAST: i love my boobs they are perky and great!
PRESENT: ugh...boobs. saggy and gross. only needed for milk.
PAST: *talking to a friend* want to use the restroom with me?
PRESENT: *talking to your kid* mommy is going to the potty. do you need to use the potty? do you need to go pee-pee in the potty?
PAST: $50 purse? its super cute...ill buy it.
PRESENT: $20 jeans? im pretty sure i can find some cheaper...
PAST: going out with friends at 8pm? thats a little early but ok see you then.
PRESENT: going on a date at 6pm? hmm well it'll take like 2 hours to eat and then that puts us home around 8 and then its bedtime...i dunno can we do earlier?
PAST: the gym is such a great way to meet guys.
PRESENT: the gym is a necessity so the "mom butt" doesnt appear.
PAST: sorry my car is dirty! just move my school stuff and water bottle and running shoes.
PRESENT: sorry my car is dirty! just move the crushed-into-the-seat-cheerios, and lost sippy cup and old diapers and tissues and wrappers and dirty clothes and pardon the stains.
PAST: if its rated PG-13...we'll call it good.
PRESENT: there are little ears. PG is pushing it.
PAST: hey sorry im late! there was traffic.
PRESENT: hey sorry im late! i was walking out the door i got pooped on and we all had to change and then we got in the car and totally forgot the diaper bag and when i went into the house i had left every light on and when we got back in the car i realized i had put the keys in the diaper bag to remember to grab it. and i forgot to grab the bag. and there was traffic.
Can you think of any more?