Past vs Present

I read this on a friend's blog and was cracking up in agreement so I wanted to post it too.  Let me know if you agree with any of these statements:

PAST: how can i get this guy to kiss me tonight?
PRESENT: how can i get out of sex tonight?

PAST: i hate when guys fart. nasty.
PRESENT: i love when my baby toots! maybe then he'll sleep better...

PAST: i love my boobs they are perky and great!
PRESENT: ugh...boobs. saggy and gross. only needed for milk.

PAST: *talking to a friend* want to use the restroom with me?
PRESENT: *talking to your kid* mommy is going to the potty. do you need to use the potty? do you need to go pee-pee in the potty?

PAST: $50 purse? its super cute...ill buy it.
PRESENT: $20 jeans? im pretty sure i can find some cheaper...

PAST: going out with friends at 8pm? thats a little early but ok see you then.
PRESENT: going on a date at 6pm? hmm well it'll take like 2 hours to eat and then that puts us home around 8 and then its bedtime...i dunno can we do earlier?

PAST: the gym is such a great way to meet guys.
PRESENT: the gym is a necessity so the "mom butt" doesnt appear.

PAST: sorry my car is dirty! just move my school stuff and water bottle and running shoes.
PRESENT: sorry my car is dirty! just move the crushed-into-the-seat-cheerios, and lost sippy cup and old diapers and tissues and wrappers and dirty clothes and pardon the stains.

PAST: if its rated PG-13...we'll call it good.
PRESENT: there are little ears. PG is pushing it.

PAST: hey sorry im late! there was traffic.
PRESENT: hey sorry im late! i was walking out the door i got pooped on and we all had to change and then we got in the car and totally forgot the diaper bag and when i went into the house i had left every light on and when we got back in the car i realized i had put the keys in the diaper bag to remember to grab it. and i forgot to grab the bag. and there was traffic.


Can you think of any more?

Punching

Jaxon (in his "bad guy" voice while playing with Henry), "I'm gonna punch you in the face."

Mommy, "Jax, please don't say 'I'm gonna punch you in the face.'"

Daddy, "Yeah, we don't punch in the face.  The gut."

Mommy (to Daddy), "Oh, right.  Not the face, but the gut.  That's okay."

Those are the kinds of things we say with a house full of boys.

They wrestle a lot when they play, but they don't really punch or hit each other unless they are in a fit of rage.  Do little girls have fits like that?

Jaxon (screaming and crying and holding his thumb), "I got an owie!  I need a Band-Aid!"

Mommy, "You aren't even bleeding.  Would you quit crying?  You're fine."

Jaxon then squeezed his thumb so hard he actually did force some blood out of the invisible cut.

If he thought he was hurt before, he then thought he was dying.  How can he sit perfectly still and not cry while he gets 3 shots, yet screams and cries over the smallest little cut?

I was thinking after the thumb incident that I don't know if I'll ever have daughters.  I definitely want girls, but I'm not very sympathetic sometimes and I might not be the best with "girl drama."  

Thanksgiving Prep Talk

I don't like how Thanksgiving is basically forgotten or overshadowed by Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas.  But I feel like the population in general needs a holiday to focus on being thankful for what we have.  It would be better if we moved Thanksgiving to like September when there aren't any other holidays around so people could really celebrate.  Then, we could get out our Christmas trees weeks before December 25 and no holiday would be forgotten.  That's what I say we should do.

I really want to teach all my kids how important it is to be grateful.  In my attempt to prep Jaxon for Thanksgiving I asked him what he was thankful for.  His response?

"Santa."

How ironic.

Dishwash

Jaxon was sitting on the counter and had a drink of water.  He swished it around in his mouth, spit it in the sink and said, "That's like Reina's dishwash."

"Mouthwash?" I asked him.

"Oh, yeah.  Mouthwash."

New Discovery

Henry discovered his nipple today (just one of them) and said, "Mommy, Henry have mole on belly."

Jaxon corrected him and said, "No Henry, that's your peck.  Boys have pecks and girls have boobs."

Thanks Jaxon.

Job

For family night yesterday we read the story of Job.  When Devin showed Jaxon the picture of Job with boils, Jaxon pointed to me and said, "He has owies like you, mommy."  "What?" Devin asked, concerned.  "You know.  Like those on your face.  What are they called?"  "Pimples" I told him.  My skin goes a little crazy with the hormones at the beginning of my pregnancies, but by about half way, it clears up.  Currently, I only have one blemish.  I'm not very excited that my sweet little son thinks I am covered in boil-like owies, but, I had to laugh!

Kids say the darndest things!

Oh, and I'm going to make these Halloween decorations with the boys.  I think they will love them!  But, here is a cuter picture of them.

I have been in the mood for doing projects so I'm going to make one of these car seat tents and one of these car seat covers for the new baby.

Diapers

I guess Henry observes when I change my daycare kids' diapers.  When I changed his diaper he said, "Henry has poopies on there.  Chloe has owies on there.  Camille has adacado on there."

Chloe had a diaper rash and apparently, Camille's poop looked like avocado.

It's so cute when he talks because if he's concentrating on forming a sentence, he takes breaths between each word.

It's A Little Short

Jaxon thought it would be fun to wear the teddy bear's shirt.  Mommy thought it was pretty funny!

Oh, and the other day Jaxon informed me that my swimsuit bottoms were too small because he could see my bum.  I told him I needed some new ones and he said, "Yes, get some bigger ones because if people see your bum they will like it."  He must pick up on things his daddy says to me...

That's Sensitive

I found a scrap of paper in my nightstand yesterday.  I had written down what Devin said right after we found out we were pregnant.

"These escapades are over.  Now we need money."

I'm sure I responded with something like, "Thanks.  We just found out we are having another baby and you are worried about the bedroom escapades?  And money?  That's really sensitive."

But when I reread it, I laughed.  That's totally something Devin would say.

I'm Sweaty

Jaxon wore his Harry Potter outfit in the car the other day.  He pulled the plastic sun shade off the window, kinda wadded it up, and put it on his head to be Harry's black hair.  Within a few minutes he was asleep so Devin and I figured we better get that plastic off his head so he wouldn't get too hot.  When we pulled it off, his head was dripping with sweat.  He opened his eyes for a second and said, "I'm sweaty" then went right back to sleep.  It was hilarious.  He was definitely sweaty!  You can see it on his forehead and his wet hair.  He gets so carried away with his outfits!

On that same car ride, we stopped at the store and since Jaxon was asleep I stayed in the car with the kids while Devin ran inside.  Henry asked, "Daddy go?"  I told him Daddy went into the store and would be right back.  He asked, "Get food?"  I said, "Yep, he's gonna get some food."  "Chocate?!" he asked.  "Yep, Daddy is buying chocolate."  It's pretty funny that of all the food he knows, his first guess was that Daddy was getting chocolate!

Stop Worrying

The boys were watching the previews before Finding Nemo started and Henry kept asking, "Nemo?  Nemo?  Nemo?"

Jaxon must have been tired of it because he said, "Yes, Nemo's coming.  Stop worrying about it."

And at Granny's house, Jaxon wrote his name with the spaghetti noodles.  

They are so fun together (most of the time).  They do fight, but usually play so well together.  It will be interesting to add another to the mix!

Addict

The other day I couldn't hear Henry.  I'm sure all my fellow mothers know that silence from children (unless they are sleeping) is usually a cause for worry.  They like to be quiet when they are getting into something.  So, I went to look for him and this is what I found:

He went into his room, closed the door, and got the binki out of his crib, and sat down in front of the mirror and enjoyed some alone time.  He is only allowed to have the binki at nap time and bed time so he was sneaky about it.  He is so funny and cute!  I just love this kid so much.

Oh, and the other day Devin and I left the boys in the toy room with some paper and markers so they could color while we finished getting ready.  When we came out, Henry had drawn all over his legs with green marker.  Devin asked him, "What is on you legs?"  Henry said, "Ummm... feet!"  It was so cute because it was like he was stalling to come up with something good, and then he actually had a funny answer!  After we were done laughing Devin asked, "Henry, what is on your feet?"  Same thought process--he responded with, "Toes!"  I guess he's pretty smart, huh?

Father's Day 2010

Father's Day was a really fun day.  After church we went over to my parents where my grandpa and all of my dad's siblings got together.  All the dads were blindfolded and given 6 different brands of vanilla ice cream to rate and pick their favorite.  The dads had fun eating and the girls had fun watching and listening to their comments.  Blue Bunny & Private Selection tied for the most liked brands.  But, of course, Devin picked Bluebell right away.  He wouldn't even finish his spoonful of Kroger brand.  He gave me back the spoon without finishing his little taste.

Getting blindfolds on...Uncle Jonny, Devin, Uncle Derek, Aunt Brenda

Danny, Grandpa, Uncle Justen

My Dad

Tasting and commenting (The spouses took notes for each brand so the dads could remember what they liked about each one.)

Dad tasting and Alisa taking Danny's notes

Removing the blindfolds to see the ice creams

There were some surprises in favorites

The best part of the day was when Devin was playing around prodding Jaxon to say, "Happy Fathers Day."  This is how it went down...

D: "Jaxon what day is today?"

J: "Sunday."

D: "Yes, it is Sunday, but it's another special day too.  Do you know what it is?"

J: "It's Fathers Day!"

D: "Yeah, Fathers Day.  So...what should you tell Daddy?"

J: "I don't know..."

D: "How about 'Happy...'"

J: "Happy.........OLD MAN'S DAY!!!"

We laughed and laughed that he came up with that all on his own!

The pumpkins... They are from my parents garden.  My dad just tossed their rotting Halloween pumpkins in the garden to mulch and when they planted the rest of the garden and started watering it, pumpkin plants grew!  Those on the counter are the first 2 big ones!

Bad Choice

"I'm going to go potty and not have an accident.  That is a good choice.  Lamen and Lemuel make bad choices so that means they pee in their shorts."

Good observation, Jax.


On our way home from church he told me, "Mommy, you made a bad choice by putting pants on me today.  It's hot."  Then I explained that boys always wear pants to church, even when it's hot.  "Okay." he said.

Pst

"Pst.  Mommy, we are friends."  Jaxon said this to me as I read him his bedtime story.  What a sweetie!


Oh, and the other day I asked him, "What if someone asked you to smoke?"

His response, "I will say no and I will kick them down."

I was kind of surprised he thought he needed to kick them!  I told him, "No, you don't need to kick them."

"Yes, I do kick them."

Hmm...  Where did he learn this kicking thing?  At least he has the say "no" part down...we'll work on the kicking thing...


And today he told his primary teacher that his dress was pretty.  He must learn that from his sweet daddy!

Devin Quotes

Here are a few great things Devin has said lately:

"You legs are about as rough as my beard."
Obviously, I was very flattered.

Devin has a pet peeve of when people make up names for their kids.  Like crazy names with crazy spellings.  He says, "Don't make up names.  There are plenty of names in the universe."  He does have a point.

Then, the other night while we were watching a movie after the kids went to bed, he randomly said, "You should wear lingerie when we watch movies."  I didn't love the idea, but it made me wonder if every man wishes his wife would do this?  Probably.

One of the reasons I love Devin so much is that he always makes me laugh.  Well, he always tries at least.  Sometimes, he's not funny, but then we end up laughing anyway because a failure is usually still funny.  He's so great!

Sneaky Crunchy

Jaxon has been the star of this blog lately.  Here is another great mommy moment I experienced the other day...

I heard a crunching noise and saw this on my bedroom floor:

Then I found him in the front room like this:

When I found him, I told him he was not supposed to sneak ice cream cones to eat for snacks.  (Seriously, one in each hand?!)

He said, "Mommy, why are you mad at me?" and before I could answer, he also asked me, "Mommy, do you like me to eat ice cream cones?"

This kid is great!

Big Brownie

I just have to document this conversation Jaxon and I just had while I cleaned up dinner.

Let me tell you this first:  I've never told him he couldn't have more food because it would make him get fat.  I've certainly never told him he was fat or even said anything about his weight, big or small.  I don't call myself fat or anyone I know fat.

Okay, now the convo...

Jaxon, "Can I have a brownie?  I want a big one."

Mommy, "You already had one so you can have a small one."

Jaxon, "How come I can't have a big one?  Will I turn into a fat?"

I just laughed and said, "How did you know?"  (I wasn't thinking anything like that for the reason.  I meant how did he know too many brownies can make you gain weight.)

Jaxon, "Because I just do.  I want a small one."

He just made me crack up!  It's interesting what kids pick up and how they translate the things they hear.  Their reasoning is so funny!  So then he decided he'd rather have a small one all on his own!

Chocolate Man

As we ate at Burger King the other day, a black man walked by the table.  Jaxon noticed and said, "Mommy, that's a chocolate man."  The sweet innocence of children is such a cute thing.

Lips

I put lipgloss on last Sunday before leaving for church.  I went to give Jaxon a kiss and he said, "Mommy, your lips are made out of gum."  I thought it was cute he though of it that way!